Have you considered the weight and power of your words? Especially as it relates to your spouse. Remember the old saying, “If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything.” How about, “Think before you speak.” This one might be a favorite, “Better to be thought a fool than to speak and remove all doubt.”
More often than we care to admit, Tammy and I have used our words towards one another in a way that has wounded us. We didn’t choose the path of FAITH Love. Our flesh was ruling us. We lashed out in ways that caused unforgiveness, resentment, and bitterness. Because of this, our relationship suffered a deep-rooted distance. All of those sentiments work against any type of intimacy each spouse would desire to have in the relationship.
Scripture has much to say about the power of our words. Let’s take a quick look at the wisdom found in Proverbs 10. Great reminders of how we should and shouldn't use our words fill this chapter.
Let’s highlight five ways we can use our words to strengthen our marriage relationship:
1. Speak Life with Your Words
The phrase "A Fountain of Life" can be found in Scripture around 12 times in some form. Let’s pray and ask the Lord to help us speak words of life that are uplifting and refreshing!
“The mouth of the righteous is a fountain of life, but the mouth of the wicked conceals violence.” v. 11
2. Pray for Discernment
Applying understanding and wisdom gives us discernment. The ability to discern gives us a clearer picture of a struggle our spouse might be navigating. It helps us walk a mile in their shoes. When we use discernment, it inevitably leads to the ability to speak words of encouragement.
“On the lips of him who has understanding, wisdom is found, but a rod is for the back of him who lacks sense.” v. 13
3. Sometimes you Need to be Silent but Present
We don’t always need to say what someone needs to hear. There are times when we can simply validate the feelings of our spouse and be present. More often than we realize what our spouse needs is someone who’ll listen more and talk less.
“When words are many, transgression is not lacking, but whoever restrains his lips is prudent.” v. 19
4. No Wasted Words
Words are like any valuable possession, we don’t just toss them around flippantly. When we pray through all the things we speak, we know that they have value.
“The tongue of the righteous is choice silver; the heart of the wicked is of little worth. v. 20
5. Use Discretion
We’ve heard the expression, “Open mouth, insert foot.” Knowing what is acceptable to say means we use discretion. The Holy Spirit empowers us to know what to say and when to say it.
“The lips of the righteous know what is acceptable, but the mouth of the wicked, what is perverse.” v. 32
Your words do have great weight and power. Use your words to encourage. Use your words to bless, build up, and love your spouse. Speak from the heart and be reminded that the capacity to provide all your spouse needs from you is found in the person of Jesus and the work He’s done in you.
Check out one of our podcasts on communication here!