
Two Becoming One
International Ministry
Leaders
Churches
Marriage Discipler
Sign-in
Sign Up
Speaker Request
A 50/50 relationship doesn’t work in marriage. The deceptive “you do you’ll part and I’ll do mine” always falls short.
Marriage, many believe, is a “fifty-fifty” relationship. That belief sounds good and seems to make sense. There’s just one problem – it doesn’t work.
Here’s why: Thinking our spouse must do his or her 50 percent leads us to focus on the other person’s performance.
But once couples start measuring each other’s performance, disappointment follows close behind, and a deadly cycle begins:
“you do your part” leads to “unmet expectations” leads to “disappointment” leads to “anger or silence” leads to “distance instead of harmony” leads to “increased pressure to perform”.
The basic problem with a “fifty-fifty” approach to marriage is this: it does not understand the nature of biblical love. A “fifty-fifty” approach is selfish at its core.
Biblical love, however, is self-less at its core. “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the Church and gave Himself up for her…” (Ephesians 5:25).
The very nature of a husband’s love for his wife is defined by self-sacrifice. Or again, “Love…is not self-seeking” (1 Corinthians 13:5).
Biblical love does not ask, “How can I meet half of the needs in this relationship while waiting for you to meet the other half?”
Biblical love says, “How can I meet your needs? How can I serve you? How can I put you ahead of myself?”
Look again at the cycle above that the “fifty-fifty” approach leads to.
Are there ways in which you can see this cycle impacting your marriage? What part can you play in breaking this cycle?
The biblical definition of love is found in 1 Corinthians 13:4-8. Prayerfully meditate on this passage and ask the Lord to show you how to manifest this type of love in your marriage.
Christian Family Life is a marriage discipleship ministry. We are here to offer resources and support no matter what condition your marriage is in. Our passion is to Build, Enrich, and Reconcile Marriages.
No matter where you are in your marriage the Two Becoming One resource will improve your marriage.
Marriage is often portrayed in movies, songs, and literature as a perfect fairy tale where love is effortlessly and conquers all obstacles. However, anyone who has journeyed through marriage knows that the reality can be far more complex and challenging. The wide...
In the tapestry of marriage, the threads of intimacy – emotional, spiritual, and physical – are interwoven to create a masterpiece of connection. However, life's demands, mismatched libidos, and unmet needs can sometimes fray these threads. This can lead to feelings...
Shelly Foshee Defining Faith We can find many definitions for the word faith. The majority of them point us toward loyalty and commitment. Biblical faith takes it a step farther and is thought to be a belief and trust in God based not on total proof or evidence, but...