Written by: Josh and Tammy Russ.

When we think of a gift, we typically think of a special occasion such as a birthday, Christmas, or anniversary.  There is a purpose, event, or reason that we think of someone in particular and what kind of gift he/she would like or enjoy. 

Sometimes, a gift is given to meet a certain need. For example, we may hear of a couple who just gave birth to a new baby, so we give the gift of a meal because we recognize their need to have help in a time of transition. 

The Original Gift

This is how Adam received the gift of Eve.  Genesis 2:18–25 says, “Then the Lord God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him. So the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and while he slept took one of his ribs and closed up its place with flesh. And the rib that the Lord God had taken from the man he made into a woman and brought her to the man." 

The Lord saw Adam’s need for a helper and companion for loneliness and relationship.  Notice the Bible says, “God brought her to the man.”  She was exactly what Adam needed.  She was given to him to be what he couldn’t be alone, so that he wouldn’t have to be alone.  They were not the same.  One was male and one was female. 

Notice, too, that the Bible says Adam’s helper was “fit for him.”  A gift!  His provision from the hands of God Himself. This was the creation of marriage and for this reason God said, “A man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.” 

Interestingly enough, one of the enemy’s most popular attacks against marriage is, “you two have nothing in common. You are complete opposites.” This is often the springboard for conflict, division, separation and even divorce.  When we know God’s truth, and we believe that our spouse is a gift from God, we can see that our differences are intentional.  We can see and embrace that our spouse was “fit for us.”

The Gift of Love

The definition of fit is “of a suitable quality, standard, or type to meet the required purpose.” What is the purpose of marriage? According to Genesis 2:18, it was for companionship and relationship. The bible teaches us very specifically in Ephesians 6:21-33 how husbands and wives are to treat each other with the love that Christ has demonstrated for us on the cross. 

1 John 4:12 says, "No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us." It is God’s love that completes us, not our spouse. Our spouse is given to us so that we can love each other in a way that shows God’s love to others.

The Hidden Gift

What can drive us crazy about our spouse are the very things that can become teachable moments to make us more like Jesus.  In those moments of frustration, we must pray and ask the Holy Spirit to show us what He is trying to teach us.  We must trust that God’s gift to us in our spouse is purposeful. 

We must honor and love our spouse in a selfless way. When we see our spouse as a gift from God we will be able to live out Romans 12:10, and “be devoted to one another in love and honor one another above yourselves." We can’t do this if our spouse is not embraced as a gift from God.  We can’t do this if we are focused on ourselves.

Pray for God’s love, God’s wisdom, and to see your spouse as He does.  Pray against the lies of the enemy and his schemes.  Pray together and capitalize on the covenant bond you have.  If we have learned anything it is this….the prayers you pray for your spouse activate the angel armies of Heaven. Put on the armor of God, lock arms together, and receive the gift of the one you were given from God Himself.


Christian Family Life is a marriage discipleship ministry. We are here to offer resources and support no matter what condition your marriage is in. Our passion is to Build, Enrich, and Reconcile Marriages. Find out more at https://www.christianfamilylife.com/

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