How to recognize toxicity and move towards connection in marriage
Moving from a performance-based relationship to one that is FAITH-based will ensure the oneness in marriage every person longs to have. However, any concept, when taken to the extreme or misinterpreted, can lead to unintended consequences. When applied in a way inconsistent with the intended impact on relationships, faith-based principles can lead to misunderstandings, mistreatment, and an overall lack of fulfillment in the marriage.
FAITH Love does not mean the absence of healthy boundaries, communication, or that individual needs go unmet. What it does mean is that God’s love and forgiveness for the individual should drive how each spouse treats the other.
It is imperative that faith-based values are balanced with an understanding of how they apply within a relationship. For example, forgiveness should be accompanied by understanding and movement towards resolution. It is not falling into a cycle of overlooking serious issues thereby enabling destructive behavior.
Here are four signs that may reveal misuse or toxicity writhing a marriage that has manipulated FAITH Love:
- Recurring patterns of hurt without resolution. Persistent hurt or constant tension without meaningful resolution.
- Power Imbalance: One spouse is dominant or controlling making any kind of healthy conversation difficult.
- Guilt Associated with Boundaries: The feeling of guilt may keep a spouse from setting reasonable boundaries.
- Stagnation in Personal Growth: An apathetic approach towards any type of spiritual or emotional growth negatively affects the marriage.
Consider these three steps to counter these challenges and move towards a healthy FAITH Love relationship.
- Open communication: No topic should be off limits.
- Seek an outside perspective: Objective insight can often offer invaluable clarity.
- Prioritize Mutual Love and Respect: This ensures that both spouses needs and perspectives are acknowledged.
Spiritual Guidance: Invite the Holy Spirit’s guidance as you navigate the challenges within your marriage.
The journey towards the right way to love each other by FAITH isn’t easy. It requires continual effort, introspection and a willingness to be transformed by God. By putting into practice biblical principles couples can experience a stronger, more resilient bond.
Remember, no where in Scripture are we instructed to change anyone. We should be asking the Lord for wisdom on how to experience personal transformation that will lead to a better application of loving our spouse by FAITH.
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