Have you or anyone you know ever asked, “Did I marry the right person? How can I know for sure that I did?” We can look at the process that God took Adam through when He created Eve and gather our own conclusions on whether or not we married the right person*.
Marry the Right Person
At some point or another, many couples have asked themselves, “Did I marry the right person?”
After the honeymoon wears off and reality sets in, it’s easy to let your spouses weaknesses drive you to the point of wondering if you made a mistake. Many of things you found endearing now get on your nerves and drive you to the edge of insanity.
We often find ourselves second guessing our marriage commitment or asking, “What happened to the person that I married?”
We don’t have to search far to discover the answer to these questions. Actually, we just have to look at the beginning…in Genesis, where God laid everything out clearly.
We can look at the process that God took Adam through when he created Eve and gather our own conclusions on whether or not we married the right person.
As the first human couple “became one,” four steps become obvious.
First, God read a need in Adam for relationship. Not just with God but with other humans as well. Second, He made Adam aware of his need. Third, God provided Eve to complete Adam’s need. Finally, Adam gratefully received Eve as God’s perfect provision for his need.
Let’s break these 4 steps down in greater detail:
God Creates a Need in Us
Remember that at the time of creation Adam had no sinned and lived in a perfect world. He had a perfect relationship with his Creator as they walked and talked in the Garden. God met every one of his needs.
Yet, God desired more for Adam.
He himself said, “It is not good for man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.” (Genesis 2:18).
Adam did not complain about being alone. After all, his existence was perfect. But even though he did not truly notice his need, God declared that Adam was alone and had a need. God wanted a flesh and blood companion for Adam.
This is nothing that Adam did on his own. He did not take any initiative in this matter. God did all the work and took it upon himself to create this need in Adam. A need that only He could meet.
The word suitable in this verse means “to complete or correspond to.” In other words, even though Adam was in this amazing special relationship with God, he wasn’t yet complete in God’s eyes.
Before you married, before you even realized it, God created a need within you. he created each of us with a need for relationship. Without them, we are alone and man was not crated to be alone, then or now.
God Shows Us Our Need
It would make sense at this point for God just to go ahead and create Eve for Adam since he has this need for relationship.
However, that is not how God chooses to handle this particular situation. Instead, God assigned Adam a special project, which at first might appear insignificant.
Yep, you guessed it. God has Adam name all the animals that were brought to him (Genesis 2:19-20)
And what did Adam discover after completing this task? Could he have noticed there were male and female genders of each creature?
Having no one to talk to, no one to eat with, no one to socialize with, could Adam have realized there was not another like him? That he didn’t have a female counterpart like all the other animals did?
Appreciate God’s involvement here — He “brought” the animals to Adam “to see” what he would call them.
God was showing Adam he had a need: “But for Adam no suitable helper was found” (Genesis 2:20).
God let Adam become aware of his need first so that he would trust God for the fulfillment of that need.
When you were still single, you began to sense a desire, a need, to share your life with someone. God showed you a need. The beautiful thing is that once your’e married, that need doesn’t go away.
If you look closely, you can see how God continues to show you a need he designed your spouse to fill.
God Provides for Our Need
Once Adam understood he was incomplete, lacing a companion, God created Eve as a perfect provision for him:
The LORD cause the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man’s ribs and then closed up the place with flesh. Then the LORD God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man. (Genesis 2:21-22)
This is a beautiful picture of God meeting our needs while we rest in His promises.
We’ve heard it said that God chose a rib because it is the perfect picture of the husband-wife relationship. The woman is under the protection of the man’s arm but protects the man’s most vital part — his heart.
Eve was not taken from the head to rule over him but was formed alongside him to complete him, and vice versa. Male and female are of equal value and complementary to each other in the sight of the Creator.
Scripture also indicates that God “brought her to” Adam. What that statement?
She could have just appeared at this side when he woke up, but Scripture is clear when it says God brought her to the man.
God wanted Adam (and you and me) to know who it is who gives us our spouse.
Are you starting to see the connection in your marriage? Our spouses are to be viewed a gift from God meeting a need that He created in us. You don’t have to ask yourself, “Did I marry the right person?” anymore.
We Receive God’s Provision
When Adam saw Eve, he embraced her completely and wholly.
The man said, ‘This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh,; she shall be called ‘woman,’ for she was taken out of man.” (Genesis 2:33)
The English text does not full communicate Adam’s excitement. A better translation of the Hebrew would be, “Wow! Fantastic! Thank you, Lord.! I’ll take her!” Adam was ecstatic about his partner.
Did Adam have an assembly line of Eves, and he just happened to pick that one?
That’s what we do today. We look at all the Eves, inspecting carefully each one before “we” decide on a spouse.
Did Adam inspect this gift and then make the decision that Eve as “good enough”? Not likely.
Adam had never seen a woman; he couldn’t compare her with anyone, so what was Adam’s basis of acceptance of Eve? Was it his inspection? or was it his relationship with a God he could see, hear, and know?
Adam’s acceptance of Eve was based on who God was to him. His acceptance was not based on Eve. Because Adam trusted God, he received Eve by faith. He knew she was God’s perfect gift to him.
We know that God is good, but do we trust that he knew what he was doing when he brought us our spouse? Your spouse is perfect for you in the same way Eve was perfect of Adam.
Do you believe this in faith?
Perfect for You, But Not Perfect
Though God meets your needs in his provision of a spouse, that person will not be perfect.
Your spouse may let you down; at times, he or she will not meet your expectations. Every spouse certainly has weaknesses.
But in light of God’s provision, God offers you a healthy way to view their weaknesses.
Ask God for the faith to stop seeing your spouses weaknesses as limitations, and instead, to see how those same weaknesses could become a blessing and a chance to grow in your faith.
Relinquish the idea of changing your spouse and simply accept him or her by faith as a gift from God.
Can you trust God to accomplish His work in your life through your spouse?
If you are continually inspecting your spouse based on your expectations instead of believing God, then you are placing him or her under a burden of performance.
In faith, receive your spouse from God just as he or she is, and thank Him for meeting you needs through this special person.
When you accept God’s provision, you move toward a faith relationship and the selfless love Jesus exemplifies that changes harts like no other.
Believe that God gave you your spouse, not because he or she is perfect, but because God is. Will you by faith receive your spouse from God has His perfect provision for you.
Yes, you did marry the right person!
* This post applies to healthy relationships. If there is abuse or other destructive behaviors, then please seek professional help and possibly remove yourself from that situation.