We living an era of distractions. We must be intentional about taking time for intimacy and eliminating distractions so we can draw closer to our spouse.

We living an era of distractions. We must be intentional about taking time for intimacy and eliminating distractions so we can draw closer to our spouse.

Why is it that many of us marry our “soul-mate” and after a few years end up with a “room-mate?”

One reason is because over time, many of us stop pursuing intimacy - emotional, spiritual, or physical.

If a third of marriages end in divorce, what’s the percentage of marriages that end in soul satisfying intimacy? 

God’s Principle on Drawing Closer

Many of us “get along” in marriage, but rarely go deep to real oneness. Ask yourself:

  • Are the best memories faded and tinted yellow? 
  • Has television or social media replaced conversation?
  • Do all major conversations center on kids?
  • Is conflict handled either by immediate retaliation or stuffing emotions?

Jesus recognized his need to “get away” in order to pursue intimacy with His Father: “After bidding them farewell, He left for the mountain to pray” (Mark 6:46).

Often He would steal away from the crowds to be alone with His God. In the same way, soul-satisfying intimacy in marriage requires “mountain-time” with our spouses.

Our Response to Eliminate Distractions

Most of us “work” on our marriage with leftover minutes. We are swept away by the busy life currents: job, house, school, soccer games, and church meetings.

Many marriage counselors recommend a quarterly retreat without the kids and other periodic short-term dates: a day trip, a weekend outing, or a long night out.

But unlike the usual movie and dinner, this time is reserved for digging. Ask the tough questions, assess our roles as husband and wife, father and mother, lovers, etc. And just enjoy each other. 

If a longer trip is not feasible, then a date night with intentional conversation can work as well. 

A Challenge to Get Away

When was the last time you and your spouse planned a time to really discuss and invest in your marriage?

How do you make time for intimacy (physical, emotional, etc.) in your marriage? What distractions do you need to remove?

We living an era of distractions. We must be intentional about taking time for intimacy and eliminating distractions so we can draw closer to our spouse.


Find out more about these traits and God’s design for marriage in Two Becoming One. The Kindle version is also available on Amazon.

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