Humility in Marriage

By Josh and Tammy Russ.

Humility, such a big pill to swallow. After all, showing humility is a sign of weakness, right? That is what I was taught growing up. Many of you have had this modeled in your lives. Men should never show a moment of weakness... men are strong after all...right?

The majority of us refuse to recognize that certain circumstances actually require us to lean on someone else, someone other than ourselves. We have been shaped to handle circumstances on our own meanwhile neglecting those that are closest to us; our wives, our children, and our closest friends.

True Humility

Humility requires dying to self and a level of intimacy that can only be formed under the eye of our Everlasting God.  Let me just be completely 100% transparent with you. I was taught to look out for myself, was taught to seclude anyone that offended me and literally write them off, and just to continue on about my merry way. I brought this frame of reference in to my marriage and learned quickly that my frame of thinking was not God's plan.

Intimacy was, and to some extent is, still scary to me. It requires me to be philosophically naked and unashamed, and to me that is a very vulnerable state. Yet, I'm reminded that this state was and is God's intention for marriage. If I can't reveal myself and my circumstances to my spouse, who is appointed by God, then who else can I reveal them to?

Humility's Power

Having a spirit of humility within marriage is literally one of the most beautiful things one can imagine. Your counterpart, your spouse, is not your enemy! As has been stated countless times, we do not wrestle with flesh and blood, but principalities of the dark (Ephesians 6:12).

Communication is 100% the opening to expressing humility to the person that shares life with you. It took me close to 20 years to accept humility as a strength as opposed to a weakness. What I would give to know in those previous years that humility would only bring me closer to the person I get to spend the rest of my life with. So... In my folly, I would like to present to you a few reminders.

Let's Get Practical

1) Your spouse is God's provision for you in all circumstances.

2) Pride is the gateway to all of sin's nature.

3) Your spouse is not your father or your mother. You are ONE with each other.

4) Regardless of your circumstances, whether it be professional, personal or legal, God has personally provided you with a confidant... your spouse.

5) Humble yourself before God, accept that you are nothing apart from Him and lead your family in this same frame of mind.

“Humility” - to most men it sounds like a weakened state of mind. Jesus, a King or kings, showed the greatest form of humility as he sweated blood while asking this cup to pass from Him. I encourage all men to put aside your pride and your achievements and rest on the covenant that God has provided between you and your spouse.

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