We were given permission from Tiffany Haines, the author of “Wrestling Hurricanes” to use this word-for-word excerpt from chapter 6 of her book. Tiffany and her husband Brad, joined us for an informative podcast for us on this subject. Be sure to check it out here! If you enjoy this blog, or want more information on this topic, you can find Tiffany’s book on Amazon here.
Fight For Your Marriage
On our wedding days, we recite our vows and repeat the line “in sickness and in health.” Those of us with atypical children, or children with various health crises, would like to turn this one line into an essay. After all, most couples are only thinking about themselves when they make this promise. They aren’t thinking of the possibility of atypical children. One line wasn’t enough to capture what our future entailed. We should have said:
In the case your child may be diagnosed with a life-altering illness, condition, or any long list of diseases that incapacitate your child’s neurotypical reasoning faculties, you may be tempted to lose your mind. The term “in sickness” may or may not include blaming each other incessantly for their genetics, especially the uncle with “issues” that may or may not be the source of chromosomal mishap. You may also blame a spouse, name not mentioned, for his or her job that seems more important than your child’s health, the anger issues that will arise because, and again, we won’t mention names, one spouse is doing ALL the research, going to ALL the doctor appointments, and assisting in ALL the therapies. This anger may or may not arise occasionally, but daily, due to the insanity constantly flooding your household.
In addition, “sickness” may also include, but is not limited to, spending way more money than you can possibly produce. Insurance may or may NOT cover most of your expenses, which will cause additional stress and calamity in the household. Your child’s future doctors may or may NOT understand your child’s diagnosis, which may or may not cause you to become a psychiatrist, immunologist, neurologist, nutritionist, and educational specialist via Internet training.
Last, but certainly not least, the term “sickness” may or may not cause at least one of you, and we certainly won’t name this name, to lose any semblance of the “health” you once had due to eating more chocolate, junk (or even health) food, and drinks than one should consume. This “sickness” may thereby cause an increase in weight, blood pressure, sleepless nights, and a future diagnosis of anxiety disorders. You may or may not eventually get to a point where you just DON’T CARE.
So, enjoy your beautiful day. Enjoy the blue skies. You’re married!!! Remember these vows are just possible unlikely outcomes. Good luck!
In all seriousness, I wrote this from the heart. I know many of you would have written similar vows. Looking back on the many hurricanes we have faced over the years, I want to reflect on what I believe to be the reason our marriage not only survived, but thrived.