Oneness in marriage can be an elusive concept, and it is not one that just happens. So what is marriage oneness, and how can you make it happen in your marriage?
Oneness and Your Marriage as a Target
“There is no subject where error is more dangerous…and discovery more fruitful than the oneness of the Trinity of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit.” –Augustine of Hippo
There’s that word again, ‘oneness.’ If you’re familiar with Christian Family Life, or have participated in a Two Becoming Onesmall group, you know oneness in marriage is all-important.
Divisiveness is a big topic in our culture today. Politics divide many. Men and women are wary and redefining romantic boundaries. Racism is a constant concern.
All of these—and more—can keep us from accomplishing the two greatest commandments expressed by Jesus—loving God and loving other people (Mark 12:30-31).
Division, isolation and self-righteousness are the fruit of God’s enemy, Satan. This brings us back to oneness.
A Picture of Marriage Oneness in the Trinity
The Trinity of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit is the ultimate model of unity and oneness.
Within the Trinity, God exists in three separate persons, each perfectly aligned towards accomplishing their individual and collective purposes. Each living in perfect love and harmony with the other. All moving forward as one.
The Trinity is the model for a Christian marriage. Joined with one another, husband and wife are to be aligned with God and His purposes for their union.
Reading the Genesis account of creation (Gen 1 & 2) we see that on the sixth day God said, “Let us create man in our image, after our likeness…”
We observe that man and woman are to be distinct from the rest of creation and to “have dominion” over all. Then man and woman are to “become one flesh” (Gen 2:24).
In marriage they are to model the oneness of the Trinity unified with their Creator and one another. Marriage was the first human institution God ordained, before Israel, even before the church.
How the Enemy Attacks Marriage Oneness
The Enemy had a different plan.
Understanding the importance of marriage Satan slithered into the picture and attacked. He deceived the man and woman into disobeying God’s clear instructions.
This fractured their relationship with God and with one another. Harmony, unity and oneness were lost. Today we live in a war zone where division is natural and oneness unusual.
Satan remains the enemy of oneness.
He wants to perpetuate the lie that God is untrustworthy and that other people, our spouses in particular, are the problem. He despises men and women and the prospect of man being reconciled to God and the affect that will have on man being to love and forgive.
The fruit of his work is division.
Oneness Displays God's Purpose for Marriage
Yet, as Augustine wrote, there is much to be learned by observing the Holy Trinity of God the Father, Son and Holy Spirit. The Trinity is a model of oneness for every marriage today.
When our marriages display this oneness, all who come into contact with us get a glimpse of unity, harmony and a hopeful reminder of what will be when those who believe are once again one with God.
3 Ways to Achieve Marriage Oneness
1) Faith Love
Practice an unconditional, selfless love that is founded in faith and not based on performance. Don't get trapped in the cycle of unmet expectations.
2) Praying Together
There is very little that promotes oneness better than praying together. This doesn't have to be super formal or lengthy. But speaking your needs to each other and praying for them is sure to bring you closer to oneness.
3) Invest in Your Marriage
This may include everything from counseling to participating in a marriage study like Two Becoming One. You have to make time to invest in your marriage. If you don't make time, it will never happen.