Five Ways to Recenter Your Marriage This Christmas
A voice cries: “In the wilderness prepare the way of the Lord;
make straight in the desert a highway for our God.
Every valley shall be lifted up, and every mountain and hill be made low;
the uneven ground shall become level, and the rough places a plain.
And the glory of the Lord shall be revealed, and all flesh shall see it together,
for the mouth of the Lord has spoken.” Isaiah 40:3-5
Christ didn’t come simply to enter the world, He came to make straight what sin has bent, restore what is broken, and bring joy where life has felt heavy. Christmas is the reminder that God Himself stepped in to do what we could never do on our own.
When the Tree Won’t Stand Straight: Keeping Your Marriage Christ-Centered
Do you know what can quickly turn me into a Christmas Scrooge? Putting up the Christmas tree.
What should be a calm, memory-making moment somehow turns into a full-blown engineering project. I’m convinced Christmas tree stands were created to test a person’s sanctification. Every year I think, “This will be the year we get it straight.” And every year I’m reminded I do not have the spiritual gift of detecting when something is off-center.
My wife, on the other hand, can walk into the room, take one look, tilt her head, and declare, “It’s leaning.” We’ve tried every stand known to mankind. Still, we wrestle that tree into position, and my hope is that my wife approves of how it stands.
Maybe you can relate.
We enter the Christmas season anticipating peace, joy, and meaningful moments, yet reality often feels more like It’s a Wonderful Life before George Bailey’s breakthrough. Responsibilities stack up, emotions run high, and the things that should inspire wonder end up draining us instead. Before long, what was meant to draw us toward Christ leaves us feeling pulled in every direction, and the season meant to be centered suddenly feels a little crooked.
So here’s the real question: How do we keep Christ at the center of our life and marriage when everything around us feels off-center?
Isaiah tells us that Christ came to straighten what is crooked. Our role? To respond to Him in a way that aligns our hearts, homes, and habits with His presence.
Here’s how:
1. Pray Together
Prayer isn’t a Christmas activity, it’s how we remain centered every day of the year. When we invite God into our plans, our pace, and our marriage, He recenters our perspective.
Sometimes the problem isn’t the tree leaning, it’s our hearts drifting.
2. Say Yes to What Matters
Say yes to shared experiences.
Yes to slowing down long enough to talk.
Yes to moments that build connection rather than resentment.
Shared “yeses” strengthen a marriage.
3. Say No Without Apology
Not every opportunity is a calling.
If something doesn’t align with what you and your spouse have agreed matters most this season, let it go. Protecting the priorities God has given your family is not selfish, it’s obedience.
A healthy “no” often makes room for a better “yes.”
4. Embrace Your Realities
Somewhere along the line, we bought into the idea that joy comes from avoiding anything hard. That sounds nice, it’s just not biblical.
Scripture doesn’t say God won’t give us more than we can handle. It says He provides what we need in the midst of what we can’t handle.
The blessings in marriage are often on the other side of the hard things.
5. Be Together
Life pushes couples toward efficiency, divide and conquer, get it done, move on. But marriages aren’t built on efficiency. They’re built on presence.
Work together.
Rest together.
Celebrate together.
Sometimes the most spiritual decision you can make is simply to stay in the same room.
Back to the Tree…
We eventually get it straight, not because the tree cooperates, but because we stick with it together, and maybe a little help from my children who also have inherited their mother’s ability to spot anything off center my millimeters.
Keeping Christ at the center isn’t about avoiding the chaos. It’s about inviting Him into it.
So this Christmas, before you worry about whether the tree is straight, ask a better question:
Is Christ at the center?
If He is, everything else eventually aligns, because the One who came has the power to make the crooked straight.
Couple Questions for the Week:
Where do we need to pray together more consistently?
What are we saying “yes” to this month? What needs a healthy “no”?
Where might God be calling us to face a hard thing rather than avoid it?
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