“Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.” Ephesians 4:29
I remember being on the playground back in my elementary school days and hearing the all- too-familiar chant, “Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me.”
We were being fed a lie at such an early age. Sticks and stones may break our bones, but they will heal pretty quickly. Words can cut deep and may take a lifetime to heal, if we make an effort to seek out help. But, at the same time, words can lift a person up and bless them.
James 3 talks about the tongue. It points out, “but no human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison. With it we bless our Lord and Father, and with it we curse people who are made in the likeness of God. From the same mouth come blessing and cursing. My brothers, these things ought not to be so.”
When we look at our spouse through the lens that scripture gives us, we see that our spouse is a gift from God. They are God’s personal, perfect provision for us. Not that our spouse is perfect, none of us are; but even with our imperfections, we are just right for each other.
So if my spouse is God’s personal, perfect provision for me, a gift from God, the way I treat her, speak to her, care for her is all an act of worship to a Holy God. He has given us our spouse and we are to steward that relationship in the best way possible.
What we say and the ways we communicate to each other reveal what is on the heart. When we are moving in step with the Spirit of God, we will produce fruit that is in line with His character. Love, joy, peace forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. When we are not, just the opposite comes out.
As I look to scripture and what God says in regards to marriage and communication, it is very clear that our relationship with God and our obedience to His Word will create an environment within our home that will be healthy and productive.
Questions to ask yourself in this area are, do I have a willing spirit to follow God’s ways? Do I have a gentle spirit with my spouse? Do I have a unifying spirit as I communicate?
Psalms 19:14 says, “Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in your sight, O Lord, my rock and my redeemer.”
May this be our desire as we interact with the gift God has given us, our spouse!
