In the morning sow your seed, and at evening withhold not your hand, for you do not know which will prosper, this or that, or whether both alike will be good. – Ecclesiastes 11:6
The only way to guarantee you never fail or face criticism is to do nothing. But even then, you may still be judged for inaction, missed opportunities, or failing to contribute when it mattered most.
A performance-based marriage keeps score so much, that many spouses eventually stop trying. Giving up seems easier than wrestling through feelings of anxiety, mistreatment, overthinking, and insecurity. We convince ourselves that doing nothing is safer than trying and failing.
But unity in marriage is not for the faint of heart. Two Becoming One identifies selfishness as one of the six reasons marriages fail—and for good reason.
When selfishness and self-protection take over, they replace the biblical call to put others before ourselves. Should that include your spouse? You decide…
- “Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.” – Philippians 2:4
- “For by the grace given to me I say to everyone among you not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think, but to think with sober judgment, each according to the measure of faith that God has assigned.” – Romans 12:3
- “For to this you have been called, because Christ also suffered for you, leaving you an example, so that you might follow in his steps.” – 1 Peter 2:21
Our answer? Yes! Pray for the strength and wisdom to love your spouse by faith—pursuing them the way the Lord relentlessly pursues us.
Hopelessness is not from God. If you have been saved by grace through faith (Ephesians 2:8-9), then the mystery of the gospel has been entrusted to you—Christ in you, the hope of glory (Colossians 1:27)!
We know that navigating the realities of any conflict in marriage is not easy, and requires two people committed to unity. We can’t control anyone, but we can personally choose by faith to hope and not give up.
Sow seeds of love, grace, and selflessness in your marriage today. You may not know which will bear fruit—but trust that God is working.
