“In this is love, not that we have loved God but that He loved us and sent His Son to be the propitiation for our sins. Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. No one has ever seen God; if we love one another, God abides in us and His love is perfected in us.” – 1 John 4:10-12
Did you know that each year in America, about 2.4 million couples say “I do”? These couples begin their journey with love and hope, yet even among Christian marriages, roughly 33% end in separation or divorce. It’s heartbreaking, and it raises the question: How do marriages that start with such good intentions often drift into disappointment?
A key reason is that many of us focus more on our spouse’s performance than on God’s promises for our marriage.
It’s only natural to enter marriage with expectations—expectations shaped by our past or our ideals. We might think, “I’ll be happy if my husband just does this,” or, “If my wife would only change that, things would be better.” But when we evaluate our spouse based on how well they meet our standards, resentment and frustration can take root.
God calls us to something radically different—a faith-based relationship where the focus shifts from our spouse’s actions to God’s promises. It’s not about our spouse fulfilling every need; it’s about trusting God’s love and letting His promises shape our marriage. We look to God by faith and receive His unconditional love so that we then have the capacity to love our spouse the way God loves us.
This doesn’t mean we avoid hard conversations or fail to express our needs. Rather, as we look to God by faith, He gives us the wisdom to communicate with grace and truth.
Christ’s example teaches us to first turn to God, trusting His love to transform our hearts and our marriages. Let’s embrace that call, allowing His love to fill our homes and our relationships.
