Marriage is not easy. When you have two imperfect people coming together outside of God‘s intent, it’s a recipe for disaster. Today, we’re diving into the reality of imperfect marriages and exploring the transformative work that God desires for us as we navigate the complexities of life together.
In our marriages, it’s easy to lose sight of what really matters. Often, we view our spouse as the enemy, focusing on their flaws and shortcomings. But it’s crucial to recognize that our husbands (or wives) are not our enemies. It’s a common pitfall to think, “If only they would change, life would be so much better”! Yet, the truth is, we are fighting against the very relationship that God wants us to strengthen.
As we pour ourselves into this ministry and support one another through shared experiences, we have learned that it’s not our job to fix our spouses. Instead, our responsibility is to love, respect, and pray for them. This humility allows God to work in their lives and ours.
Reflecting on our own journey having been married for over 30 years, we can affirm that a successful marriage doesn’t mean a perfect marriage. It means acknowledging our imperfections while leaning into the grace that God abundantly provides. The beauty of marriage lies in the constant work of personal transformation. It’s about allowing the Lord to reveal our own weaknesses and areas for growth.
The age-old metaphor of a yard—complete with weeds that need to be pulled—parallels our marriage journey. Each time we identify a weed (a flaw or challenge), we have the choice to either ignore it or confront it. Far too often, couples choose to mow over the weeds, avoiding the hard work of pulling them out by the root. Unfortunately, this leads to an unaddressed problem that continues to not only sprout up again, but grow into a larger problem.
One aspect of cultivating a thriving marriage is the importance of community. There is great value in surrounding ourselves with fellow believers who can speak truth into our lives. It can be uncomfortable at times, but allowing others to point out the issues in our lives—like a weed in a lawn—can bring about healing and restoration.
Sometimes we are fully aware of an issue between us and our spouse. Other times we are deceived, meaning we do not know for whatever reason. Maybe we have formed some bad habits that have morphed into a larger problem. Maybe we have neglected our time with God and cannot hear the Holy Spirit’s whisper. God has created us for community and there is purpose in that.
The truth is, growth requires intentional effort. Just as maintaining a healthy yard doesn’t just happen; it takes regular attention and care, so does our marriage. We must continue to invest in our relationship, nurture it, and remain vigilant against the weeds that can threaten to disrupt our harmony and peace.
Real change comes only through our relationship with Jesus Christ. As we abide in Him, drawing closer to His presence and allowing the Holy Spirit to guide us, we become equipped to confront our own shortcomings and grow as individuals and partners. John 15 beautifully captures this truth:
“I am the true vine, and my Father is the vine dresser. Every branch in me that does not bear fruit, He takes away, and every branch that continues to bear fruit He prunes so that it will bear more fruit.”
In those seasons of pruning—when life becomes particularly challenging—is when we often feel the Lord working the most in our lives. It is crucial that we remember this is a process aimed at helping us bear even more fruit in our marriages and lives. We encourage you to focus your eyes, not on the situation in front of you, but on Christ Himself.
As we conclude, remember that no marriage will ever be perfect. Instead of striving for an unattainable ideal, embrace the journey of two imperfect people learning to love one another better. Focus on what you can change within yourself and invite God into that process. Allow others into your lives and continue to grow together.
As we move forward, let’s hold onto the truth that God created marriage, and He can make it work. Leaning on His strength, we can face life’s challenges together, growing closer with each passing season.
Until next time, embrace the journey and remember that God is in the business of transforming lives—starting with yours!
Christian Family Life is a marriage discipleship ministry. We are here to offer resources and support no matter what condition your marriage is in. Our passion is to Build, Enrich, and Reconcile Marriages.
No matter where you are in your marriage the Two Becoming One resource will improve your marriage.
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