"Love is not blind; that is the last thing that it is. Love is bound; and the more it is bound the less it is blind." G.K. Chesterton
We’ve all heard it, “Love is blind.” Is it really though? Should it be? While Tammy and I love each other, we are not blind to the things we each do that are, let’s say, annoying. I love Tammy, but I also love it when she closes the kitchen cabinet doors. When she doesn’t … I still love her!
Is Love Blind?
Apparently there is a dating reality television series out now titled, “Love is Blind”. What is it about these reality dramas that draw people in? Could it be that intrinsically we have been created to be fully known and fully loved? Is that what these dramas claim to offer? We live vicariously through the couples in the story. When there is instant chemistry, we desire that same type of connection in our personal relationship. If you’re married, you wonder what happened to the sparks of romance that are now sparks of anger and resentment. Makes you wonder if love is really blind?
Let’s dig deep and consider a love that is the most genuine expression of love we can experience.
In our human nature love comes with expectations. It is dependent on the way another person acts or treats us. But the deepest love we can experience is that which only comes from God Himself - Agape Love. It is a love that doesn’t require that we love Him. It doesn’t expect us to do anything. Once we receive it, there is nothing we can do to lose it or be loved any less.
Wow, What a Love!
Look back at the quote that we started with. Like Chesterton says, love is bound; and the more it is bound the less it is blind. It is truly miraculous that God fully knows us and still loves us. Modeling this should be our goal in marriage. You can fully know and fully love your spouse.
“Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God.” - I John 4:7
Tammy and I are both very aware of each other's annoying habits. Those things we’d like to change. But if there is one thing that draws me closer to her daily, it is the fact that no one knows me like she does and yet everyday she demonstrates a love to me that I don’t deserve. I’d like to think I’m a pretty likable person but there are times where the ugly comes out.
Can you relate?
I’m sure we all have those moments with our spouse. We know we should be the most loving, patient, kind, gentle, etc. But our flesh, stress, or pressures in life overwhelm us and we reveal a not-so-pleasant side of who we are.
Even in those moments, God fully knows and He fully loves! And because we have received unconditional love from God, He gives us the capacity to express and demonstrate that same love towards our spouse. When we, as husband and wife, commit to love each other the way God loves us, we reflect His image in our marriage.
Do you feel challenged in this area of your marriage?
If the answer is yes, it’s time for a self evaluation. Where are you at in your relationship with God? Are you acknowledging the fact that you are personally fully known and fully loved by Him? Then, and only then, can you offer that same kind of love to your spouse.
What Does This Self Evaluation Look Like?
Do you want to know where your priorities are and whether or not the Lord and your spouse are at the top of the list where they should be? Ask yourself the following questions:
- Am I spending time with Jesus? What does the line of communication look like between me and God?
- Am I serving others? When was the last time I looked for an opportunity to do something for someone that could give nothing in return?
- Do I see my spouse as a gift from God? The way you perceive your spouse changes everything about your interactions with them.